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The Moths
The Moths are a shit and pointless social cricket team hailing from the bowels of Brisbane. They are comprised of high functioning alcoholics, fat actors from Lost, Jews, bad Koreans, elves, kiwis, pensioners, PTSD-sufferers, doctors, barristers, accountants, Shane Warne's son and stay at home fathers. They originated in 2006, masterminded by pre-internet troll Ben "Bunfighter 2054" McGlade and the self-absorbed Dayne "Ice Man" Rzeszkowski. They played 2-day cricket and played it reasonably well (except for Bradley "Snake" Baker, who was fucking appalling and rude from start to finish). These early years (2006-2007) were the "Golden Years", where Moths first began their appalling lack of guts and attitude for finals cricket, the downward (and ongoing) slope of obsession with individual stats and milestones, oft at the expense of the overall team result, and the tendency to show up drunk and/or high to games and thinking that such behaviour was funny and excellent. They were a bunch of useless insects. The team disbanded in 2007 and barely spoke of cricket for nearly half a decade. Suddenly, in January 2011, they (d)evolved into LMS, an 8-a-side t20 comp. They started in LMS in 2011 under the watchful wing of Matthew "Beau" Ridley, and quickly rose to prominence within the global LMS community, reaching an all-time high of 6th in the world and 2nd in Australia out of 1000s of teams. Arrogant, deluded and self-important, the Moths flew to Kiama in NSW to partake in the "Australian LMS Nationals" tournament (where they were indeed ranked #2 in the country at the time). They proceeded to get molested on the field, violently and sexually assault underage bar staff (and each other) off the field, aggravate Daryl Braithwaite and learn a valuable lesson in humility (which was forgotten by the flight home). This trip was funded thanks to a fat fucking cunt named Rancid Meat Products (RMP) - an obnoxious fuck that everyone hated - who somehow convinced a bunch of retarded rich cunts at an engineering firm to sponsor Moths with $9,000 for the tournament. Such insane funds were put to use by booking a shitty hotel that was older than Doug "Trapper-Keeper" Tapper, hiring a bus that had dead child prostitutes decaying in it (pre-Rob "Darkness Rising" Jordan), and all within a town that had a bakery with only one sausage roll on offer (which Ice Man was less than impressed with). The Moths descended rapidly from this point, lasting a total of 7 more months wherein Ice Man and Bunfighter lost complete interest in the game, having it marred by the continued and unwanted presence of RMP and Kruck. The poor old Moths were shepherded by Callum "Ghall" Wardrop, who was a brave and singular rudder for this doomed vessel. The remainder of the squad somersaulted out of the ship like cowardly cockroaches and snivelling Jews and people with the surname of "Wong". The Moths were sick. They were dying... Many discussions were had, voices were raised, cliques emerged and so it became that, in April 2012 and after reaching such extreme highs and child rapist-esque lows, Moths imploded. But that was just the beginning... A collective titan had fallen, but a bell (Moth Siren) would soon toll and this squadron of the dead would once again... ...RISE...